Void Laws

"Mind telling us where we're going, Hermione?" Ron asked, watching the swirls and streaks of Inter-dimensional space pass by the window.

"The 7th Dimension Bar and Grille, where characters relax between books, shows or movies," Hermione explained as the shuttle docked. "It's been so long between books I figured you two needed something to do other than fan fiction."

"Oh, Merlin, yes!" Ron moaned, "If I have to crawl into bed with Harry one more time I think I'll scream."

"You're upset!" Harry exclaimed, "You're not getting paired up with Voldemort or Snape!" Harry shuddered in memory.

"Well, that won't happen at the 7th - writer's rules don't apply," Hermione said, opening the hatch. The Trio filed out into the airlock. "The most important rule here is that you do not stare, gawk, or create trouble. One fight with Tom, Harry, and you'll never be allowed to set foot in here again," Hermione warned. With that warning in mind, Ron and Harry followed Hermione into the 7th B&D. Harry was the first to break the rule, immediately pointing at a demon-shaped man in the shadows and exclaiming,

"That's Baman! With Catwoman!"

"Harry!" Hermione scolded, grabbing an apron from a hook, "Rule One, remember? Don't gawk or point."

"Sorry," Harry apologized, "but they're enemies."

"Not here. Here they're just a normal set of lovebirds, only writers make them enemies."

"Hermione, why the apron?" Ron asked, choosing a circular table for three.

"You don't think I get all my money for books from my parents, do you?" Hermione asked, checking the pockets of the apron, "I work here, have for three years now. Galleons and Sickles work here, all currency does. Have fun, and remember the rule." With that, Hermione headed off into the crowd. Abandoned, Harry and Ron looked around.

Soft jazz was playing in the background, accenting the partially lit atmosphere. The smoking section was faintly hazy, most of the tables were filled. Creatures Harry had no name for and characters of fiction so familiar Harry could barely believe they were real mingled and mixed freely. Food was on most tables, or Harry supposed some of the items were food.

"There's Snape," Ron pointed. Snape was talking with a young Japanese boy with brown hair and eyes the color and hardness of slate. The boy's green tee-shirt and black shorts contrasted sharply with Snape's black wizard's robes. At the booth next to Snape's an old man with blue-gray eyes and silver hair spoke with a young man with black hair and blue eyes. A black Great Dane sat next to the older man. Harry watched in amazement as Professor Sprout and a man with what looked to be a hair clip on his face talked animatedly with an eight-foot creature covered in think fur that spoke in growls and whistles.

"This place is unbelievable," Harry whispered. Ron nodded numbly.

"Harry! It's You-Know-Who!" Ron suddenly hissed. Harry whirled around, a cold knot of fear forming in his stomach. Harry's eyes widened in terror as the Dark Lord entered the air lock and chose a table not far from his and Ron's. Harry reached for his wand, only to be stopped by a firm grip on his wrist. Harry looked up into a face covered by a mask of red and black lines like a spider's web.

"That really wouldn't be a good idea. Not until you get used to the place anyway," the man said. His voice had a New York accent.

"But-" Harry protested. The strangely-costumed man, pulled Harry's hand away from his wand and set it on the table.

"Don't confuse Writer's Laws with our own. Tom's a little obsessive, but here he hurts no one," the man said, then paused wryly, "unless there's a brawl." Harry stared as the man walked away, then choked as Hermione went up to Voldemort's table.

"What can I get you, Tom? The usual?" Hermione asked politely. Voldemort shook his head.

"I want some of that sludge Ivanova has after a Marcus deathfic," Tom said. Hermione nodded, made a note and headed off. "Hello, Harry, Ron," Voldemort said civilly. Hermione returned with a glass of red sludge. A man in black clothes, blond hair, blue eyes and a flashlight hanging from his waist sat down at Tom's table.

"Gillywater, please, Hermione," the flashlight man said.

"Good day, Luke. Finally got some time off?" Tom asked with easy familiarity born of obvious friendship.

"And got Mara to leave me alone. Russian Goop today, ouch. What'd you do?" Luke asked, eyeing Voldemort's drink.

"Patricide. Damn fanfic writers. What happened to Her, anyway? Nothing but amateur for years now," Voldemort complained. Luke laughed.

"You're complaining? I haven't been used outside of books and fanfic for decades." Voldemort nodded and sipped his drink. Harry leaned toward Ron.

"Why isn't he trying to kill me?"

"I think he's up to something," Ron supposed.

"No too bright, are you?" An American said suddenly, plopping into the chair next to Harry. He had cornflower blue eyes and long brown hair in a braid. He held out his hand. "Duo Maxwell, Gundam 02, among other things. You're new here." Harry and Ron nodded. "Do you know why they call this the _Seventh_ Dimension Bar and Gille?" Duo asked. Both Harry and Ron shook their heads. "Because the writers all exist on the Thrid, and we are four dimensions away. The things that pertain to your universe - who's good, who's bad, who's friends and who's not - are called the Writer's Laws. They're the things that the writers dream up. Take Terry for example," Duo gestured to the black-haired blue-eyed boy Harry'd seen earlier, "In his show, he and Dana are dating," Duo gestured to a lovely Oriental girl, "but here, where the Writers' Laws are void, they can't stand each other. Terry prefers Bruce's company here, completely opposite of the show's canon."

"So here," Ron concluded, "You-Know-Who doesn't want to kill Harry?"

"His name is Tom, and yes, unless he's obsessively in character, in which case the rest of us will haul him off and bring him back to reality," Duo said casually.

"Can we talk to people outside our… universe?" Ron asked. Duo nodded, grinning.

"I'm talking to you, aren't I? Catch ya `round." Duo said with a cheerful wave, then headed over to speak with Dana. Harry and Ron stared at each other.

"Unbelievable," Ron said. "I don't believe for it an instant. You-Know-Who is You-Know-Who." Harry didn't respond, other than to wave Hermione over.

"I'd like a cherry soda, please."

"What do you think of the place so far?" Hermione asked.

"Not sure yet," Harry responded, "but I could like it."

"And you haven't started a fight. I'm proud, Harry," Hermione said with a grin, and headed over to the bar. She returned minutes later with the soda. Harry gathered his courage, then took his soda over to where Voldemort sat with Luke over Ron's protests. Harry took a deep breath. *Time to see exactly what "Writer's Laws" can be voided.* Harry thought, and let the breath out in speech.