Warning: Use of coarse language and unsavoury Slytherin-ish ideas. Hee hee!!! The writing in speech marks is Dumbledore's. I had originally planned it to be in italic, or bold, but it wouldn't let me do it, so I separated it out.

Suggestions and comments appreciated.

It was that time of year again. For me, it had taken far too long to make its merry way round. All I wanted to do was to go home, away from all the Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers, and relax in the unspoilt luxury that was my home. No impurity, no useless fools telling me what to do, only the beauty of the gardens and the magnificence of my Father's library. Just one more night. And then I could go home.

The House Cup should have been ours, yet again, that year. We Slytherins know the best way to manipulate our pathetic teachers, whether it be exploitation, flattery, or sheer hard work. Slytherin House is often unfairly overlooked for its intelligence for the Ravenclaws or the Gryffindors. But of course, it was no secret as to why the points were fixed that year. Or the year before and the year before that. Harry Potter and his blasted troupe. Always so full of themselves, of some miraculous deed that absolutely no other could have hoped to achieve, which of course, if looked at rationally, was most of the time sheer stupidity. If a Slytherin had done half the things they said they had, they would have been expelled faster than you could say, `prejudiced'. I wish Father had sent me to Durmstrang. Karkaroff may have been a weak fool, but at least he knew how to do things properly. He would never have accepted riff-raff like that into the ranks.

I see the black drapes, and for a moment I'm stunned. What, no glorious coup for the Gryffindors this year? But then reality hits me, and I feel like a fool for allowing myself to hope. They are meant for mourning that fool Cedric Diggory. But he deserves nothing from me, not even my contempt.

I watch as Dumbledore waits for everyone to find their place, and wearily raise himself up. Oh God, I can tell this meaningless charade is not going to be over quickly.

"The end, of another school year…"

Here we go. Should I pay attention, and fall asleep quickly, or shall I listen to my own thoughts and grow bored?

"…I must first acknowledge the loss of a very fine person, who should be sitting here…"

A `fine' person? Cedric Diggory was `fine'? If he was fine, then god help the rest of us.

Of course, the Hufflepuffs are acting their part, admirably for those who have such little intelligence. I suppose they miss their handsome hero. I don't. All it means is that there is one less jumped-up nobody in the hall.

Oh, everyone's standing up. This better be the only blasted toast I've got to make tonight. Along with the rest of them, I heavily intone, in my best bored voice, "Cedric Diggory". There. That's that over. Can we eat now?

I can see Cho Chang crying. Oh yes, she was his girlfriend, wasn't she? Poor soul. Nobody deserves to be lumbered with a Hufflepuff.

"Cedric was a person who exemplified many of the qualities which distinguish Hufflepuff house."

What, you mean he had baked beans for brains and spent all his time fluttering his eyelashes?

Then, Dumbledore actually surprises me, and makes the tirade interesting.

"Cedric Diggory…"

For God's sake, how many other dead Cedric's are there?

"…was murdered by Lord Voldemort."

Well, anyone with half a brain could have worked that one out. Well, anyone with a Death Eater father who always kept you informed of the latest developments could have worked that one out. A shocked murmur runs through the hall. For crying out loud, get over it! You-know-who is coming back, and when he does, he'll be here to stay.

He then goes on to try and convince us "yes, Lord Voldemort has returned… any attempt to pretend that Cedric died as the result of some blunder on his own, is an insult to his memory."

I whisper to Crabbe and Goyle, "Well, what the hell was ending up in front of You-know-who in the first place? Misreading directions?" They snicker appreciatively. They should have been Hufflepuffs.

Then the final bell is rung. I knew that blasted Potter would come out somewhere. Always has to have his name on everyone's lips, he has. It's disgusting. He could have at least had a decent name. At the sound of it, everyone in the hall, even the teachers turn to stare at the boy in question. Then we all decide he isn't worth it and that studying the wrinkles on the old prune's face is far more interesting. Just kidding.

"He showed the sort of bravery that few wizards have ever shown in facing Lord Voldemort, and for this, I honour him."

You see, there it goes again! Only an idiot and a fool would ever try to fight the most powerful wizard of all time! And just because, yet again, luck played into his hands, Dumbledore has to go down on bended knee?

And you can bloody guess what. Another toast! Well, they can fuck off this time. There's no way I'm going to toast that bastard. Why should I have to toast somebody who was responsible for so many going to Azkaban when in fact they were merely cleansing society? It is a fact that we need to be rid of Mudbloods and Muggles. Harry bloody Potter can go to hell.

I notice Crabbe and Goyle, the ever-loyal henchmen, also remain in their seats. For Pure-bloods, they're surprisingly obedient. Just as well they're Slytherins. But that's the only thing that keeps them above the level of the Weasley's.

And Dumbledore still hasn't finished. I think that now he's trying to promote the thing about international magical co-operation. Well, good luck, my fool. The Durmstrang's, while glad to be rid of that idiot Karkaroff, are still so deeply sunk into the Dark Art's that no mention of benefits and rewards will ever bring them back into the light. And those from Beauxbatons are far too wrapped in each other to care about anything besides themselves. It's just as well, really.

"In the light of Lord Voldemort's return, we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided."

What rubbish. It is, in fact, discord that promotes unity, with people like Dumbledore always rabbiting on. My father says that a lot.

The last thing Dumbledore says before finally shuts up strikes me. It is so obvious that it is scarcely worth saying.

"Remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort."

I mean, if an idiot like Diggory, whose family are so hopelessly devoted to people like that Muggle-loving fool, are stupid enough to walk before the path of the greatest wizard in the world, then what can they expect? Hot chocolate and biscuits before bedtime?

"Remember Cedric Diggory."

He was lucky, really, that Diggory boy. If Harry Potter hadn't been there to distract the Dark Lord and his followers, then they would have spent hours torturing him before they finally finished him off. Lord knows, my father would have been one of them. At least they killed him quickly and painlessly. But they won't be mentioning that in the newspapers, will they?

"Remember Cedric Diggory."

Well, I'll do that for certain. Though not, I'm sure, for the reasons they'll be expecting me to.

"Remember Cedric Diggory."

Oh, wonderful, the food's here. And look, they made my favorite. I knew this evening wouldn't be a waste of time after all.